I went to New Buffalo for a Native show on saturday. and as per usual, those boys were fabulous. I got to hang out with my amazing Indiana friends + Victor! + La Dispute. and I made new friends. and it was wonderful.
BUT
some bitch stole my fucking cell phone. I was pissed, but got over it and had a good time with my friends. we stayed the night at Bobby's house in Portage. when I woke up at like 1 yesterday, I checked my email and there was a super intense super freaky email from my Dad. so I use Stacy's phone to call around and get a hold of my mum... who was sitting in my apartment in Grand Rapids. she drove there in the morning and talked to 345234 people and got my landlord to let her in where she proceeded to find more random phone numbers to call to look for me. turns out, the guy who stole my phone sent a text to my dad saying that I was pregnant and running away. so they freaked out and tried to get a hold of me. my dad stayed up all night calling my phone every 15 minutes. there are 12 voice mails on my phone and I can't bear to listen to them because I'll cry. so this has spawned several intense conversations with my parents about random ass shit. things that I guess we should be discussing anyway, but that's not how our family functions. we don't talk about problems, we pretend they don't exist. so now my parents have apparently had this huge awakening thing and there has been lots of crying.
I'm fucking pissed that all this happened because I left my phone on a table for 5 minutes.
in other news, the printers at my school don't work. so I can't finish my project that is due in two hours. so I'm sitting in the basement listening to killwhitneydead and being pissed.
give me your phone numbers so I can put them in my new phone when I get it.
and also, I'm sorry if any of your received weird calls/messages from my phone.
most of my entries are friends only because I'd like to think that the people reading them are people who at least somewhat care to read what is going on with me.
so with that in mind, I'm deleting a bunch of people from my friends list.
I realize that this is extremely passive aggressive, but since the people I deleted don't give a fuck about me anymore, I don't really give a fuck either.
I awoke thursday to the news that one of the most influential people of our time had died. and I cried.
I wrote this today: For anyone who has read Slapstick, or is familiar with Kurt Vonnegut's idea of creating artificial extended families:
For years I've been telling myself I would write a letter to Kurt Vonnegut and try to explain to him how important his writing is and how much it has affected me. Well on Monday evening I started writing it. And on Thursday I woke to devastating news. and I realized I would never be able to tell him all the things I wanted to. I know he's heard it all from so many people before, but I really wanted him to hear it from me too. And I wanted to tell him how I got my one and only detention for reading an exert from one of his books because it contained the word "blowjobs" (who knew public high schools would be so uptight...)
I also wanted to tell him that I think his idea of an artificial extended family is amazing. If there was some way to institute it I would support it entirely. Think of how much unity it could bring to our country, our world, if you knew that no matter where you went, you could find someone who would show you compassion and kindness. That no matter what, you could find someone you had that little thing in common with. In the letter I wrote, I asked him if he would give me my middle name so I could be a part of an extended family, even if they didn't exist yet.
well the letter wasn't sent, and of course I won't receive that middle name from him. but I was thinking that maybe we already have created an extended family. When I signed on to myspace yesterday I saw so many bulletins about Vonnegut and I read what so many people wrote about how he touched their lives and changed their thinking. Maybe we are eachother's extended family. All of us who have been so deeply affected by the work of a single man.
so I want to say thank you to all of you who took notice of what our world has lost with the passing of Kurt Vonnegut Jr. And all of you who know what we have gained through his amazing mind. We're all cousins, and we all have something in common... no matter how different we may be.
Kurt Vonnegut November 11, 1922 - April 11, 2007 Kurt is up in heaven now. (what a jokester.)
I've been listening to the new Brand New songs a lot. they're feeding my fucked up-ness. I'm ok with that.
weird fucking moods and feelings all the time lately. not sure how to deal with it...
but in the mean time, I think I'm going to take MarkWaters' idea here:
leave a comment with your name if you want to know what I think of you. I'll try my best to be completely honest, but I must warn you all that I have an incredibly difficult time expressing myself with words... or at all really. I can promise you that there are things I have never said to you, and things that I will never be able to say no matter how hard I try.
yesterday was AMAZING. that was one of the best shows I've been to....ever. I haven't had that much fun at a show in a long long time. 3 opened. there were two guys in front booing and talking shit and I wanted to throw down. however, I am a wee girl and they were big muscley men. so I settled for telling them to shut the fuck up. so 3 was playing and it looked like no one was going to respond at all. then the Minnesota kids showed up and went crazy. I love those kids a lot. Nick, Sean, Dave, Doug, and Zack came to Michigan for the show. and Adam came to the show too. and it made my day. maybe week or month. Joey played his mad solo and everyone freaked out and I just about orgasmed. then Joe and Chris played this awesome percussion and drum duet thingy. shit. it was a short set and I was bummed. but it fucking blew me away, and I cannot wait to see them again. oh yes, I will see them again. stood out by the merch tables during Chiodos. judging by the large amount of girly screaming and mass hysteria I could see, I'm glad I was not in the sweatyness. although, I do like them. and I randomly sang to my Heidi whilst we were standing by the 3 table. two girls passed out and got carried past us so Nick went and did his EMT thing. Dillinger was nuts. no torch though, and no random climbing on shit. but it was awesome anyway. went up in the mass of people for a little bit until I got slammed in the chest. kind of added to my difficulty breathing so I hung out on the side. Nick let me punch him so that helped. Coheed. oh shit son. Josh and Mic weren't there. that kind of worries me... but it was pretty awesome anyway. Heidi, Zack, Doug, Dave, Nick and I all sang to eachother the whole time and it was great. Nick and I called the encore. Welcome Home into Final Cut. haha, kind of obvious but still. so then we went back to the merch table and I MET JOEY EPPARD and the rest of 3. I'm so fucking stoked about it. and I hate myself for not taking any pictures. fuuuuuck. but I talked to Joe a lot and I might do some work for them so I'm pretty pumped about that. we'll see though. apparently my daughter showed Claudio her boobs (as I had written "I <3 Claudio" on them for her). giggle. then we had to leave. sad face. I miss Nick.
my first day off was rather uneventful. I talked to my mum on the phone and I got upset a lot. not at her, at stuff we talked about. then I talked to Tommy and Dale as they were driving to TN. crazy kids. then I went to the cemetary that is down the road. then I ate half of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while trying to convince a 4 year old to finish his lunch. I read a lot and I'm almost done reading Happy Baby. I like it. then I talked to my Heidi. she listens to my troubles. we discussed many things. I love her a lot. then I talked to Nicholaus. he's a swell fellow and I love him too. now I'm at Erik's and apparently we're going to build a fire and sit around and stuff.
I'm leaving tomorrow morning. I don't know if I will be in the intra-nets much while I'm gone. I'm packing up my computer in 10 minutes. call me. 8103040105
I had a really awesome day today. there are two main reasons behind this, and they are ( right here )
1st hour I got the best prom picture EVAR back, and I laughed really hard every time I looked at it so that made up for Hunt being a dick and singling me out a lot.
In 3rd hour I made my presentation on Kurt Vonnegut. it was fucking sweet. and I got a detention for saying "blowjobs" in the presentation. I was reading an exerpt from A Man Without a Country that I think explains Vonnegut very well. I have 4 days of school left, and I got my first detention ever. for the BEST reason ever.
and WE'RE GOING TO SEE COHEED AND CAMBRIA TONIGHT!
I just had to tell my Cincinnati crush, Matt, that I am not going to the Art Academy. his cute little voice sounded sad and it made me sad and it kind of made me want to cry.
weekends full of Heidi and Mark make me happy. we rock. Friday there was a ska show. I saw 1336 which was swell. and they thanked me in their CD. that made me smile. Saturday we went to see Silent Hill. the story was cool. the acting was not.
"look at me...I'm on fire!"
today, Kaitlin, Amanda, Mark, and Heidi and I went to see Stick It. I liked it. I think I was the only one. I'm a massive dork and I'm ok with that.
in other news. I still suck at life. I can't just focus on what I need to accomplish right now. I need to do all of my art and photo work. I need to write a research paper and make a presentation for it. I need to figure out what's going on next semester. I need to get my shit together to go to Massachusetts. I need to get my shit together in general. but I can not stay focused on any of that. I am instead bent on whining and feeling sorry for myself and making up stupid fucking scenarios having to do with something that doesn't mean ANYTHING. it doesn't even really exist. it's nothing. but here I am still.
don't leave me a comment telling me to quit being emo or I'll fucking impale you with barbed wire courtesy of a crazy burned up demon.
for 5 hours yesterday morning, the town of Yale was without power. it was a fucking ghost town. it was kind of terrifying. but it also meant I got to go back to sleep instead of going to school. and that shit is cool with me. and then I got to work on my shit for my college class. went in and got everything finished up, printed out, and turned in. which means the class is over. OVER. we have to go to John Henry's house on Tuesday though to get our notebook and our grade. kinda creepy... oh well.
walmart photo center is a fucking rapist. $4.80 for an 8x10. are you fucking kidding me? the website said it would be $1.80. so now I have to go to Sam's Club and then wait 24 hours to pick them up. oi. well I'll get them in time for the senior art show. which is WEDNESDAY at like 7 at the high school. come see my art work, fools.
I just registered for my fall classes at Kendall. which totally freaks me out.
Design and Color I Mondays and Wendesdays 8:30 - 11:20 Writing Workshop Mondays and Wednesdays 12:30 - 1:50 Western Art History I Tuesdays and Thursdays 10:00 - 11:20 Intro to Graphic Design Tuesdays and Thursdays 12:30 - 3:20 Design and Drawing Tuesdays and Thursdays 3:30 - 6:20 Kendall Experience Thursdays 11:30 - 12:20 --------------- 15 credits
beh, 8:30? well at least I'm done by 1:50 on Monday and Wednesday. and noooothing on Fridays! I will enjoy that. so now the only thing is to find a place to live. I'm on the waiting list for 5 Lyons, and I guess that should be a pretty sure deal. but I'm nervous about it.
parent-less weekend. they're gone and won't be back until Monday. I'm pumped.
As I was leaving school, the guy in front of me was going like 10 mph. so I, being the asshole that I am, was right on his ass. he brake checked me and I almost hit him, so when I was turning onto my street I flipped him off. apparently he turned around and followed me home because when I pulled into my driveway, he pulled in behind me. who does it happen to be, but Mr. French. a teacher. he asked for an apology and said he would talk to my dad if he had to. so I said I was sorry and I explained to him why I had gotten mad. I am filled with rage and would very much enjoy punching someone in the face right now.
In an attempt to quell my anger, I will post some pictures from the Reggie show. I wish all security guards were gullible and would let me behind the barrier. ( Reggie at MSU 042206 )
I don't care about your fucking break, mine was totally better. early Saturday morning, Miss Heidi and I set off for L-L-Lansing. the ride there was fine. the parking was not. went into an open parking garage, came back to my car this morning to find a $25 ticket. pffft. anyway, walked randomly and then found Hubbard and found LEE! who rocks beyond reason. then we got on a bus and went into Lansing for a protest against a Nazi rally that was being held at the capitol. seriously hands down the most amazing experience of my entire life. Heidi and I both took a bajillion photos. there were over 500 cops there. on foot (in riot gear), on bikes, motorcycles, horses, and packed into cars and vans. we even saw a minivan full of cops. the free press said that 11 people got arrested. the times herald said 16. somewhere in there...anyway. we saw all of it. I was like 3 feet away from people being arrested. the first arrest was right next to Lee. a nazi was walking past and one of the boys passing out pamphlets threw them at him. he was immediatly thrown against a wall and "cuffed" (cable ties). one girl had been told not to cover her face with a bandana because there's a law in Lansing about it or something. well she did anyway and when I cop tried to break into the crowd to pull her out people resisted and about 3 people were arrested. there were at least 2 other occasions when people were arrested, I don't know the cause of either of them. there were a lot of really awesome people there. as I look at my pictures I remember each of them and what they were doing. they were amazing. my favorite person there was a girl with a sign that said "I <3" (big red heart, not a computer heart). at one point she was in front of the whole group and she was singing the star spangled banner and crying. Heidi and I hugged her and Heidi kissed her on the cheek. there was a guy there that apparently preaches in front of one of the buildings at MSU every day. he was yelling at the protesters and telling us we are going to hell. the protesters made signs and yelled back at him. they only succeeded in shutting him up for a couple of minutes. after the nazi rally was over, the protest started to move down the street. the police wanted to break us up and get threw so cops on motorcycles started driving through. one of the banners didn't move out of the way so he drove through it, broke the pole and drove off with the banner stuck to the front of the bike. at one intersection they blocked us off and as we stood there waiting to see where we would go, there were at least 50 police in full riot gear running at us in formation. Heidi went "ooo we're scared!" and a cop went "Oh you like tear gas?!" double you tea eff. at the next intersection we moved to, there was a police van that I guess they were transporting some of the nazis in (yeah, the nazis got full police escort). someone was throwing rocks and they broke a window on the van. I can not believe we didn't get tear gassed right then. we moved on and started going towards Eastern High School where there was supposed to be some Diversity thing. when we got there it was blocked off by about 30 State Police cars. so we decided to head back. found a bus and went back to Lee's. we were at the protest almost 4 hours. we watched part of Bubba Hotep. I want to finish it. or maybe watch the whole thing because I didn't pay much attention. then we headed over to the REGGIE SHOW. fucking, free Reggie show. what more can I ask. well, maybe not having to listen to bad music before Reggie. and maybe not having a very awkward conversation with Aaron. but other than that, I wouldn't have changed anything. when Reggie was starting I told one of the security guys that I was from the MSU newspaper and he let me behind the barrier to take pictures. if the lighting hadn't been completely crazy they might have turned out pretty well. I got a few cool ones. which I will post laaaater. after the show, Lee, Heidi and I went to climb trees. well, Lee climbed trees and we watched. then we went to Michelle's and hung out and talked lots and it was wonderful. Lee left (sadface) and we started to go to bed. Michelle's drunk roommate fell off of her bunk and fuckin smashed her head. she didn't die, and she woke up this morning...so I guess she's alright. Heidi and I slept on the futon. but we did not spoon. sigh. we left this morning to get the Heidi home in time to go see her Gran. and I put all my photos on my computer and got super pumped about it. and now you should look at some of my protest pictures. I'm only posting around 20 of them, check them out. ( protest photos )
at work today I had to wash and wrap 3 boxes of potatoes. THAT'S 150 POUNDS OF POTATOES! that's fucking ridiculous. but then my boss made me a potato badge...so then it was ok.
then I went to Alissa's to see my jawesome friends.
my life has been boring. I have to work tomorrow and friday and then I'm leaving saturday. SICK!
Smitty and Patrick came to my house and woke me up at 1:30 today. so what if I'm lazy.
right. so...story time maybe? very brief because it pisses me off to think about it. I was driving home on Yale road, it was about 1 in the aye em. I was going about 65. I saw a racoon near the side of the road so I went into the other lane to avoid it. I hit it. my car spun around and rolled or flipped into the ditch. I came to a stop upside down. neither of the doors opened. I had to crawl out the back window which was broken out. my glasses had fallen off and I couldn't see anything. a guy stopped and called someone on a radio. someone else stopped and helped me find my glasses. then he left. I finally got my phone to work and called my parents. they were there in a few minutes. the guy with the radio left. a few minutes later we heard sirens. like 5 rescue vehicles showed up and there were about 20 people standing around doing nothing. the sherrif came, filed the report. and we sat there for a long time. the tow truck guy came and we started to pull away. I heard them flip the car and I almost threw up. my parents took me to the hospital. apparently since I had no head trauma and I wasn't gushing blood anywhere, I wasn't important enough to get attention from the 6 people standing around talking. I had to clean my own cuts. then they took x-rays of my hand. I broke my pinky. so after an hour and a half in the hospital, I left with a shitty little splint on my pinky and some non-slip socks because I wasn't wearing any socks and didn't want to put my bloody shoes back on.
now I'm sore. feel like an idiot. and terrified to drive. done and done.
